The post wedding binge that just won't stop.

It's been exactly 4 weeks today since my husband and I said our vows and tied that knot. So that makes it 4 weeks of  Out Of Control binging as well. And in those 4 weeks I have not only felt disgusted with myself on a daily basis , but I've also gained around 15lbs... Yes, I know that's nuts. I also know a lot is water weigh but seeing an increase that high after finally checking the damage on my terrible habits these past few weeks is a nasty slap in the face.

The past year or so my journey has been about looking fantastic at my wedding....check!
So now I'm thinking I need to switch over my mindset out of wedding and onto the remainder of my life. My goals have not changed. I still want to rock a one digit pant size,  I still want to get out of  the "overweight" range.  And of course there is a number id love to see... But most of all I just want to be healthy and fit. I want this for me. I want this for my family. I will get through this rough patch.

If anyone ever tells you that losing weight is easy slap them right in their lying pie hole. Everything about losing weight is hard. Saying no to the foods you want is hard.  working out daily is hard, seeing slow to no progress is hard, starting over is hard. But most of all being overweight is hard. I'm
Choosing to not give up on what I want.. What I deserve. I will continue on this journey,
It's going to be tough getting back into the swing of things. What's done is done.. All I can do is recognize that I've gone and slipped back into my
Old habits and make the decision to knock that shit off. ... No one is perfect all the time. This binge might have been way longer than it should have been, but I'm not giving up on my goals that easily. It's not about the fact that I binged.. It's about the will to get back on track. That in itself is progress from the days where "binging" was my daily life and there was no stopping in sight.  Time for that first step back on the right direction.

I did it!

I had a goal for myself to be happy with how I looked on my wedding day. I may not have gotten down to the goal I set for myself in the beginning of this journey,  But what I did achieve is just as rewarding.

 I achieved confidence. 

I was not the thinnest Bride

I was not a super model Bride

I was however the best bride I could be, and I am so happy with how far I have come. 

I Married my best friend, while surrounded by people that love and care for us. 

In the end, that's all that truly matters.

Now here are some photos with about a 60lb difference! 

Left- Friends wedding 2011 / Right - My Bachelorette Party 2013

Left - Friends Wedding 2011 / Right- My Wedding Day 2013

Positive quotes

We can all use a little inspiration sometimes.. so enjoy these and i hope it gets you going today! Move that body ;)

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Face Progress.

Sometimes I get down on myself for "only" losing 40 lbs in the last year or so. I have to remind myself that at one time (not to long ago) i weighed 264lbs. In fact I remember the day exactly because it was shortly before I delivered my son. September 8, 2013 the nurses told me.. that was my weight. Two hundred an sixty four pounds.. at 5 ft 4 was my reality! granted I was a few hours from giving birth and within' a few short months 264 turned into 240 on it's own from baby weights, bloat, and all that other yucky stuff you lose while having birth (I'll spare you the details..you're welcome.) That is where my weight loss journey really began. So that is why i say I've lost 40lbs instead of going up to my highest weight.

Never the less whether you want to say I've lost 40 or 64 it still is a huge chunk of unwanted fat and weight that i no longer have to carry around.. and you know what? I think that's pretty bad ass.
I still have a long road ahead of me.. but I'm excited to see what i can do next.

 May 2011 /  July 2013

The scribble to success.

The past few months in Colorado haven't been the best as far as weight loss goes. Letting myself get out of control with eating out, letting myself think it was ok to go drink multiple times a week (then sneak on over to trusty taco bell once I was drunk) ..calories consumed while drunk don't count right?

I saw my wedding day fast approaching and I told myself NO!

No more eating crap because "fuck it, I want to dammit!"

no more letting myself be brought down by others by following their lead when they would skip workouts or eat crap. They are not in control, I Am.

No more saying "back on track tomorrow"

for me..tomorrow is to late.

10 days ago I decided to start the 20 Day Shred by Jillian Michael's for the second time. In those first 10 days i've lost almost 5 lbs. (keep in mind those 5 were a part of the same 10lbs I've been gaining and losing for the past few months. Now that i'm back down to almost my lowest since the journey started I am not giving up! I feel like i'm back and more motivated than ever. I have a monthly calendar filled out with workouts through the end of the month including 30day shred, random youtube workouts, walking/running, Color me rad 5k!(woo), as well as an arm challenge and a plank challenge. 

I can be mad at myself for not going as hard as I could have since moving here.. but instead i'm choosing to tell myself that i still have lost 40+lbs on this journey so far, there are going to be up's and downs.. as long as I don't quit, I have already won.

The journey to success is a windy one folks.. sit back and enjoy the ride, and never give up!

Progress April2013

The first photo was taken at my high school graduation.. Sometimes thinking about how big I got really gets me down. But looking at this photo I am around the same weight in both pictures. Give or take since I can't remember exactly how much I weighed then but I know I look a hell of a lot better now. Muscles weigh more than fat.. And guess who can see the muscles when she flexes now... Yup this chick :)