The post wedding binge that just won't stop.

It's been exactly 4 weeks today since my husband and I said our vows and tied that knot. So that makes it 4 weeks of  Out Of Control binging as well. And in those 4 weeks I have not only felt disgusted with myself on a daily basis , but I've also gained around 15lbs... Yes, I know that's nuts. I also know a lot is water weigh but seeing an increase that high after finally checking the damage on my terrible habits these past few weeks is a nasty slap in the face.

The past year or so my journey has been about looking fantastic at my wedding....check!
So now I'm thinking I need to switch over my mindset out of wedding and onto the remainder of my life. My goals have not changed. I still want to rock a one digit pant size,  I still want to get out of  the "overweight" range.  And of course there is a number id love to see... But most of all I just want to be healthy and fit. I want this for me. I want this for my family. I will get through this rough patch.

If anyone ever tells you that losing weight is easy slap them right in their lying pie hole. Everything about losing weight is hard. Saying no to the foods you want is hard.  working out daily is hard, seeing slow to no progress is hard, starting over is hard. But most of all being overweight is hard. I'm
Choosing to not give up on what I want.. What I deserve. I will continue on this journey,
It's going to be tough getting back into the swing of things. What's done is done.. All I can do is recognize that I've gone and slipped back into my
Old habits and make the decision to knock that shit off. ... No one is perfect all the time. This binge might have been way longer than it should have been, but I'm not giving up on my goals that easily. It's not about the fact that I binged.. It's about the will to get back on track. That in itself is progress from the days where "binging" was my daily life and there was no stopping in sight.  Time for that first step back on the right direction.

I did it!

I had a goal for myself to be happy with how I looked on my wedding day. I may not have gotten down to the goal I set for myself in the beginning of this journey,  But what I did achieve is just as rewarding.

 I achieved confidence. 

I was not the thinnest Bride

I was not a super model Bride

I was however the best bride I could be, and I am so happy with how far I have come. 

I Married my best friend, while surrounded by people that love and care for us. 

In the end, that's all that truly matters.

Now here are some photos with about a 60lb difference! 

Left- Friends wedding 2011 / Right - My Bachelorette Party 2013

Left - Friends Wedding 2011 / Right- My Wedding Day 2013

Positive quotes

We can all use a little inspiration sometimes.. so enjoy these and i hope it gets you going today! Move that body ;)

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Face Progress.

Sometimes I get down on myself for "only" losing 40 lbs in the last year or so. I have to remind myself that at one time (not to long ago) i weighed 264lbs. In fact I remember the day exactly because it was shortly before I delivered my son. September 8, 2013 the nurses told me.. that was my weight. Two hundred an sixty four pounds.. at 5 ft 4 was my reality! granted I was a few hours from giving birth and within' a few short months 264 turned into 240 on it's own from baby weights, bloat, and all that other yucky stuff you lose while having birth (I'll spare you the details..you're welcome.) That is where my weight loss journey really began. So that is why i say I've lost 40lbs instead of going up to my highest weight.

Never the less whether you want to say I've lost 40 or 64 it still is a huge chunk of unwanted fat and weight that i no longer have to carry around.. and you know what? I think that's pretty bad ass.
I still have a long road ahead of me.. but I'm excited to see what i can do next.

 May 2011 /  July 2013

The scribble to success.

The past few months in Colorado haven't been the best as far as weight loss goes. Letting myself get out of control with eating out, letting myself think it was ok to go drink multiple times a week (then sneak on over to trusty taco bell once I was drunk) ..calories consumed while drunk don't count right?

I saw my wedding day fast approaching and I told myself NO!

No more eating crap because "fuck it, I want to dammit!"

no more letting myself be brought down by others by following their lead when they would skip workouts or eat crap. They are not in control, I Am.

No more saying "back on track tomorrow"

for me..tomorrow is to late.

10 days ago I decided to start the 20 Day Shred by Jillian Michael's for the second time. In those first 10 days i've lost almost 5 lbs. (keep in mind those 5 were a part of the same 10lbs I've been gaining and losing for the past few months. Now that i'm back down to almost my lowest since the journey started I am not giving up! I feel like i'm back and more motivated than ever. I have a monthly calendar filled out with workouts through the end of the month including 30day shred, random youtube workouts, walking/running, Color me rad 5k!(woo), as well as an arm challenge and a plank challenge. 

I can be mad at myself for not going as hard as I could have since moving here.. but instead i'm choosing to tell myself that i still have lost 40+lbs on this journey so far, there are going to be up's and downs.. as long as I don't quit, I have already won.

The journey to success is a windy one folks.. sit back and enjoy the ride, and never give up!

Progress April2013

The first photo was taken at my high school graduation.. Sometimes thinking about how big I got really gets me down. But looking at this photo I am around the same weight in both pictures. Give or take since I can't remember exactly how much I weighed then but I know I look a hell of a lot better now. Muscles weigh more than fat.. And guess who can see the muscles when she flexes now... Yup this chick :)

i'm doing a MudRun!

     This Saturday is my first mud run! lets face it..it's my first run period. I've never been a runner. I'm the chick who would walk in P.E for the mile and if the teacher did get me to pick up my pace i would only be able to "jog" for a few seconds before slowing back down to a walk. 

I'd love to say I'm much better now, but the fact is i probably still weigh more than i did back then and i can't run for much longer.. but I'm getting better! i have been doing interval running (run, walk, run, walk run)and i am now much faster on my mile time and i can actually go a few minuets running without wanting to drop down and die. ;) 

We will see how it goes but i have a feeling it is going to be such a blast! plus anything with a free beer at the end you can count me in! 

Dirty girl mud run..  I hope you're ready for team TBAD!! - "These Bitches Are Dirty"

Expect pictures next week!! 

Newest progress photo.

Well there I am now. 

7 months (roughly) since i started my journey to change my life. It also reminds me of how far i have to go. To a lot of people i am still what they would consider fat. Because after all i am still "fat" hell i'm probably still on the obese category for my height... But as those facts start to bring me down i have to stop myself and say NO. stop thinking like that kacey.... look how far you have come! keep going! don't you dare stop. Not now. Not ever!

i have days where i am still depressed over how big i am but i won't let them outweigh the good days where i am extremely proud of what i have done and what i will continue to do.

you've come this far...lets see what you're really made of.

Howdy Stranger

I feel like I haven't posted in forever... Probably because it's true. I kind of dropped off the face of the blogging world for a bit. But guess what? I'M BACK!

So lets see, where to begin with catching up... the biggest change that I can think to tell is my little family and I now live in Colorado!. That's right.. we said good bye to Sunny California and Hello to The Denver Area of Colorado. It's been a few weeks now and so far we totally love it. The snow is still new and exciting for now.. even though I'm sure I'll grow to hate it like everyone else. For now it's a lot of settling in and getting things situated.

But i have even more exciting news.. Guess who now has a gym membership with 24HourFitness? That's right..This girl! It's amazing and I am really enjoying the classes. I'm thinking I will do some reviews for the classes in case anyone is interested in trying them out.

Anywho all the "vacation/moving weight" is gone and I am officially back under 200! it's been a bit longer than I wasted and it's been quite the fight getting back there but i am not stopping. My wedding is 7 Months away and I am determined to wear that mini dress downtown without feeling like a fatbitch prowling the streets for my bachelorette party.
I don't think I'll try... I don't think I might do it... I don't think it's possible... I KNOW I CAN. And I KNOW I WILL.

:) Now how's that for a positive attitude.

This Is Never Going To Be Over.

My family and I went on a 12 day trip to Colorado recently and in terms of weight loss it totally screwed me.. scratch that I screwed myself.  Of course not having a kitchen means eating out Morning, noon, and night.  Now I Could have made better choices.. I could have had smaller portions, and I could have worked out everyday..But I didn't.  I ignored the little voice in my head saying "this isn't a good idea..think of your ass!"  But still I shoved burgers, fries, coke, pizza, Chinese, Beer and whatever else I wanted in the moment right into my pie hole. Now here I am.. up 9 LBS!! 9 freaking pounds. I'd love to say "I'm shocked! I have no idea how this happened!" But that just isn't true.. I did this. No one else.. Me.  I did this to myself.  Did it taste good at the time?  Hell yes it did!  Am I regretting it now?  That's another big ol Hell yes I am!   Not only have I gained weight but I've also been flat out stuffing my face with way to much food that now my body wants big meals again. Guess what body?  Your not getting them starting today! 

Everyone slips up (at least that's what I tell myself).  I still have a goal ahead of me.. that goal is to be healthy. This experience is a smack in the face saying that it will never be over. I will never be able to eat whatever i want, whenever i want, and still look the way I want to. That is the very sad truth. Some people can eat whatever they wish and still maintain that healthy "Look" but they aren't truly "healthy" they are just thin. Would I love to be "thin" yes.. but I'd rather be healthy and know how to feed myself in order to maintain.  My goal isn't to get to where I want to be only to throw it all out the window because i don't need to "diet" anymore. I am not on a diet. I am changing my life. Slipping back into old habits is so easy to do.. it's slipping back out of them again that is the struggle. I promise myself to push on!  I will not settle for anything less than my best, and my best does not weight 209lbs! I will be back under 200.  I will be able to fit in a "normal" size wedding dress. and I will be healthy.

I will.

Bishop's Peak

There are some amazing hiking spots here on the central coast but I have never taken advantage of them since I never had the urge to be active.  I would have rather sat on the couch and watched tv or just wanted to handout drinking some beers with friends in order to do "fun" things together.

I love that all that has changed! I had a thought about hiking one day and decided to ask my friend if she wanted to do it with me one day. And of course she said yes since she is awesome.                   

After we had to park our car at the bottom of a huge ass street in order to even walk to the trail entrance   I was more than a little winded having just gotten to the entrance lol. 

Me and my awesome hiking buddy.

But you know what? I made that mountain my bitch! I not only made it to the top of the trail but I also climbed to the tip top over the rocks. It  felt great! Not only did I have a blast with a friend and see an amazing view but I also got one hell of a workout.

Working out doesn't have to be a chore. 

Have some fun with it!

Me at the top!

What a view...