Such a Bittersweet Weekend Full of Great Times and a Sad "See you later"

This was a very eventful weekend for me! I had lots of exciting weight loss progress and also spent Friday evening and Saturday evening with my best friend before she leaves next month to go overseas. The downside to my great weekend was having to say Goodbye  See you later to her. I have to admit it was a huge downside and it was way harder than I thought it would be. I already miss her and I won't stop missing her until I know she is home safe and I see that beautiful face of hers! Now before I start getting all sappy and start crying again.. I think we will move on to some of the things that made my weekend so great.

After weighing myself Friday morning I saw I was down almost 3 lbs making me only 8.5lbs away from being at my first goal! Lets face it.. it was going to be a great day with a start like that.
When my best friend arrived my day got even better.! Then it got EVEN better.. she brought a huge bag of clothes that she is giving me since she can't take them.. Score! love her!<3
In this bag there are so many cute clothes that I love and its great because my clothes are becoming quite baggy ;)
While pulling out clothes I get to a bright yellow dress that she had worn a month or so ago when I saw her last and I had to try it on... IT FIT.. I was not expecting to be able to zip that dress.. after all it had been tight on her when she wore it (sexy tight..not to tight just to be clear lol) and she is a good 30lbs less than me. I couldn't believe it! I didn't end up wearing it that night but It felt so good to zip that thing up i had to take a photo! or two..

 A little tight for my liking to wear out.. but hey it fit!! I was shocked and so excited! 

...After a night of fun with some friends the next day we all went to get tattoos for my friend.
That's where the next proud/awesome moment happened.  Before we left the house to meet the others we took pictures together. When I looked at the pictures which are pretty much full body shots. I didn't see a fat cow. I saw someone who looked like me but so much happier and so much thinner. Not thin..but thinner. it's progress and I am so proud of these photos. It has been a long time since I have seen a picture of my body without feeling horrible about myself.

<3

The Next and final great thing that happened was the actual tattoo Done by Tried and True Tattoo in Arroyo Grande, Ca by Jason. .....well not actually getting it OUCH! but the after product is so pretty. I love it so much and I love that it will be a reminder of how much we miss and love each other. My best friend.

We got the words "Tu Me Manques" Which means I Miss you or better interrupted as

"You are Missing From me"

30 Day Shred Results!

I started the Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred a few weeks after i started working out.

At the beginning it was rough! lets face it i was out of shape and the only way to fix that was keep going! I did mostly the modified moves on level 1 and around half and half on level 2
Level 3 I could almost do all of the advance moves (not easily but i did em! lol)

And i took 3 rest days total. One every level.

The First picture is from around 7-10 days before i started the shred
The Middle Picture is after i finished level 1
And the Third picture was today after finishing round 3.

  I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to it! And i also think I'm not quite ready to part ways with the shred. After a couple rest days i think i will start it over for Round 2! Hopefully i have just as good results the second time! I think I'll also incorporate some walking/running too.
Either Way I'm down 2lbs this week and I am only 8lbs away from my first goal of making it under 200! I originally wanted to do this by the new year but it looks like i am going to finish faster than i thought. Which is amazing. We will have to see what the new year brings... a new me perhaps? we will see!

Random Day

Today was an interesting day. After my workout I had planned to go shopping for new shoes this afternoon but after accidentally falling asleep with my son putting him down for his nap and slept for 3 hours!! I couldn't believe it. I was angry lol. Also a woman i had contacted who had some old window frames i wanted to use for the wedding contacted me and had time this afternoon. So after all that was done and we got our windows(score!!)  I still needed to go shopping.

After around an hour starting at the different shoes available still not understanding what the big difference between all the different types of shoes (Running, track, sport, athletic jeez and here i thought a shoe was a shoe! lol wrong apparently ha. ) I finally picked out a pair and booked it out of there before spending any more money! DAMN those shoes are pricey. But i have heard that if you are serious about working out and getting fit then skimping on shoes is not a good idea.

Once we we're out of there i thought the temptation of workout clothes was over.. wrong again! Since of course i strolled by the workout area of target and just had to have another pair of pants and another sports bra! I knew i wanted a top for this weekend which is my last weekend with one of my best friends before she gets stationed overseas. :(... But unfortunately I spent the money on workout stuff again.. ah well I'm sure i have something in my closet that has been to tight for years that will fit me now.. i just need to go shopping in my own closet.. a lot cheaper too ;) Luckily i saved a lot of my old clothes saying to myself "just in case i get to be that size again" even though i never believed i would until now. I know i will fit into every piece of clothing i have in my closet in the future.. hopefully the near future.. it feels great!

My new Shoes, Capri's, and Sports bra! Love them :)

Do something about it!!

Let me just say I used to be the biggest complainer I know. Complaining was a favorite past time of mine until I told myself to shut the hell up and start doing something! I see it like this..

Imagine you are driving down the street in your car and you really need to make a right turn at the next intersection. Yet you do nothing.  You don't put your blinker on, you don't slow down, you do not change anything about the way you are driving. Are you going to be able to turn and make it around that corner? no.. you're going to go straight  because you have not changed anything to make the turn possible.  If you do the same thing  you have always done you will get the same results you have always gotten.

I know i have just started my journey, but after making little changes I am seeing changes.. I guess that is why i get a little ticked off when i see people complaining about how they look and yet they are doing nothing! They don't want advise and they don't listen even if they say they want advise.  I know i have no right to be mad at someone who is only doing what i was doing a short time ago but I can't help it! Little changes are so much easier than being unhappy in my opinion.

What I have learned over these past few months is if you're looking for an excuse not to workout and eat right then you will fine one

There are plenty of excuses out there..... 

I'm tired
My back hurts
I'm not feeling right
my foot hurts

my neck hurts

I'm sore from walking around yesterday

I don't have time (not a valid excuse in my opinion)

I'm to fat to workout (also not true)

but i don't want a salad! 

I don't want chicken!

veggies are gross (not true)

Healthy food tastes nasty (no, it doesn't)

it's raining

I don't have a partner

I've already ate something bad my day is ruined might as well keep eating crap

I've tried every diet and never lose or always gain it back

It's in my genetics 

I'll always be fat anyways

I don't like working out

i don't like running

the list is endless....

There is an excuse for everything if you're looking for it. It takes the willpower to say.. no.. you know what? I'm going to workout and I'm going to eat right for my body. I may slip up, I may feel its not happening fast enough but i will not give up. Then soon your list of excuses will get smaller and smaller and so will you! ;)

Taco Salad

I Love Tacos! What i don't love is how many calories the shells are. Although if you get the extra thin ones they really aren't that bad.  But anyways i wanted to switch things up tonight and we didn't have that many shell left so i thought.. taco salad!

It's so so good! and this whole plate was only 318 Calories! :)

you will need:

Lettuce 

Tomato

cheese 

(i use 1/2 fat free 1/2 reduced fat cheddar)

Ground turkey, beef, bison, chicken.. whatever you have.
(I used leftover 1/2 turkey1/2 bison taco meat from the other night)

Chopped tomatoes

olives

1 tortilla shell
(i used the extra thin)

Salsa

Hot sauce

and taco seasoning if you aren't using leftover taco meat.



First i preheated the oven to 400, sprayed the tortillas with cooking spray and a little bit of salt. Put cut into strips and put in the oven (6-10 min) 

Then put lettuce in the bowl and top with taco meat

and layer on your toppings as you like them and finish with salsa and hot sauce if you like it. sour cream would be great too but we didn't have any tonight lol .
You could use any toppings you like really and with only one shell the calories are really low!
It was Delicious :)

Mama needs a little girl time

When i was growing up my whole life revolved around hanging out with my friends on a daily basis.  I never thought that would change as i got older. Of course that illusion faded after moving 20 minuets away from my hometown and having a son at a young age.  It turns out high school friends don't stay your friends for long.. and "hanging out" all the time becomes a distant memory.

BUT, on the rare occasion that you have the time to get together with the good ones who have stuck around for the long haul.. it is a treat!
That Night is tonight! a girlfriend of mine is coming over for some quality time with some wine and good ol fashion bitching! yay!! Nothing better than getting together with friends and venting about bottled up frustrations!

I can't wait.. and i have a bottle of wine calling my name!!

Downside to trying to be healthy and wanting to drink... drinks are not low calories lol well for the most part they aren't.. so what i plan to do today is eat light for my meals today and even take an extra walk after my workout... this will give me plenty of calories to have that wine without feeling like I've ruined the whole day. So to that i say Cheers!!

Puppy!

This has nothing to do with weight loss but hey... who can resist a cute puppy?

This weekend we got a new addition to the family!

Meet Layla! :)

She is definitely a handful but we are so excited to have her!  And my son absolutely adores her<3

Let's Talk Ranch.

Mmmm Ranch Dressing. I love it on pizza, I love it on salad, I love it on wraps.. i just love it on almost everything.

Most Ranch dressings you buy on the shelf are going to be about 140 calories for 2 table spoons. That's A LOT for a condiment.  But since i love it i was trying to just use 1 table spoon but it wasn't to my satisfaction so one day when i was about to pick up my favorite ranch dressing (Marie's) i noticed they had one labeled "yogurt dressing (1/2 the fat and calories!)" i decided what the hell I'll try it! Since after all if i don't like it i don't have to buy it again.

After the big taste test (I'm snooty about my ranch) I couldn't believe it.. it tastes the same as the original! i mean if i had one after the other I'm sure i could find a difference but it's really really good!

If you want to try a healthier ranch that isn't the "fat free version" go with this one! i get it in the produce isle refrigerated section.  oh and it is 70 calories for 2 tablespoons :)


I've also heard mixing Greek yogurt with one of those ranch seasoning packets is also good but i haven't  givin' that a go yet.

Yay ranch!

Making Progress!

 When you're trying to lose weight i think one of the best parts is feeling and seeing how your clothes start to get loose.  It makes me feel even better than a lower number on the scale i think (although that's a close second ;).   I noticed a slight change in my clothing a few weeks ago but not really much of a drastic change.  This week on the other hand not only do i feel a huge difference i see a huge difference too. Let me tell you It.Feels.Great! This change is doing so much for me.. I feel better about myself and I also care less about what others think of me.. because honestly I'm proud of what I'm doing so if they aren't then screw em! I know I'm doing something great... something worth while.. Something For Me!

Ok ok ok.. stop blabbing and get to the photos :P
 Here they are! 

Loosey Goosy Jeans

Another Pair So loose! :D

HAHAHA look what i can do! This was just to good not to post.. i laugh but I'm also very proud of what I've accomplished so far! Can't wait until I'm camping out in these jeans next year!

My Little Workout Buddy

For the longest time not having a workout partner would discourage me ...but this time.. i have a workout buddy all the time!!

This is how you do it mom!

J  loves working out with mommy! he is actually pretty strong.. (i think its from carrying the milk gallon around for the past 3 months since he learned how to open the fridge lol )

One of the best feelings is when I'm on my back on the floor or in a plank pose and he will slide over to give me a kiss.. definitely helps remind me why i need to do this not only for myself but for my family!

Plus seeing him jump around and raise his arms and attempt push ups is just so damn cute!!

Yoga anyone? 

Wedding Day Approaching

One of the reasons i wanted a long engagement, besides the fact that venues charge an arm and a leg plus your first born here in California, was my wanting to fit in a "Normal" sized gown.. I've found some really beautiful plus sized dressed but all they did was make me depressed. The styles i really like are of course in smaller sizes.. i refused to accept that i would be a size 20 on me wedding day! Refused! I am now down to a 16 and still working on it.
The wedding is booked for October 2013. That gives me a little over a year to complete my goal of becoming a happy healthy person who will rock her wedding gown!
I'm not sure exactly what size i am aiming for but i guess anything lower than what i am will be progress.

Another goal for me regarding the wedding doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what the scale says next year. I want to feel beautiful, i want to feel sexy and i don't want to feel ashamed of how big i am.  We plan on going to Vegas for our bachelorette/bachelor party in September and I'd love to wear a dress! a dress dammit! not jeans to hide my thighs.. not a flowy shirt that hides my stomach but a cute, short, party dress! with hot ass heels to match of course!

Yet another occasion is the honeymoon.. we plan to go to Hawaii which at first i wasn't thrilled about.. not because i don't want to go to Hawaii because i do.. badly. But because Hawaii means beaches.. beaches mean bathing suits.. and right now bathing suits=beached whale look. (Not attractive) I would Love to be able to rock a cute bathing suit on my honeymoon and actually look sexy in the lingerie for my husband!.. Hot mama here i come!! By this time next year when all these events are happening i want my weight to be the last thing that is worrying me.. i want that already taken care of and out of the way. Hopefully with hard work and dedication i can pull this off!

Pushed through an 'I feel crappy' day!

I knew i wasn't lucky enough to not get my son's cold he has had for the past few days and sure enough this morning i woke up with a little cough and a stuffed up nose. GREAT!!..
 With some advise and a little push from some fellow mamas i decided to go ahead with my workout for the day.. it was tough getting started and i stalled for over an hour before actually getting to it but i did it!
I actually feel better now too! A Little but 'off' but not sick so hopefully i won't wake up feeling like death tomorrow.  I did however have to force myself to eat this morning and after noon since i just didn't feel hungry.. turns out its a good thing since my fiance decided he wanted pizza and then forgot to order it skinny crust for me... yup thanks babe! twice the calories :/...ugh anyways i got my workout in and i stayed under my calories even with pizza for dinner.. yay! I'd say it was a successful day!

Caprese stuffed chicken breast and zucchini pasta!

One of my new favorite foods is zucchini "pasta" Made with zucchini in stead of noodles. this dish i paired that with stuffed chicken YUM!

For the Chicken You will need 

Chicken breasts
Fat Free or low fat Mozzarella cheese
Grape Tomatoes
Basil leaves

 you just Season the breasts with whatever you like then after cutting a hole stuff the breast from the side with mozzarella (i used fat free), tomatoes and basil leaves then use tooth picks to hold it together. and bake at 425 for 30-40 depending on the size of the breasts.

For the "Pasta" you will need

Zucchini(sliced thin like noodles)

Light Creamy Alfredo (half a jar)

Hunts Diced tomatoes(i used the basil garlic and oregano one)

Chopped garlic

Seasonings

 i just shredded the zucchini and added it to the sauce we made which is 1/2 light creamy Alfredo and 1/2 hunts diced tomatoes, seasonings and chopped garlic. Simmered for around 8 min or so and there you have it! that huge plate was only 354 calories! may vary depending on how much cheese you add and how much sauce you use.

Over all a great low cal/ low carb recipe! so good! 

Why "Diets" Don't Work...

First off... i am not claiming to be on a "diet." I am losing weight by eating the right size portions, healthier choices most of the time and the right amount of food for the day paired with exercise.

Now when i say diets don't work.. i don't mean they do not work to make you lose weight. Because that part is true.. you probably will lose weight if you stick to a diet.. BUT what happens when you get off the diet? you gain it back usually more than you lost. Now if you are ok not having carbs, not eating meat, not eating sugar, not eating any fast food whatever it is that the diet eliminates then more power to you! But for me if i tell myself i can't have something i will eventually get pissed off and binge on exactly what I'm supposed to be avoiding. There goes the diet...

In my opinion.. the saying "I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my lifestyle" is so true! It really is!
If you want to lose weight and keep it off you will not be able to do that with fad diets that limit what you can have. Or maybe you can.. but for me it just doesn't work.

I can have anything i want.... if i want a piece of pizza? ok awesome.. get the skinny crust with veggies.. and have 1-2 slices.. not 3-5.  Want a burger? get it w/o cheese...or scrape some cheese off (takes major calories off)  or get a kids meal.. that really is a great way to have fast food without eating way to much.. kids meals are more than enough food for an adult in my opinion.
Want a soda? have one! but don't have 3! and the biggest rule of all that I'm trying hard to follow is... if you want to have those pancakes for breakfast (or whatever it is) then that is OK just have a light lunch and dinner... if you eat light for the rest of your meals you have plenty of calories for what would be considered a "bad" meal..
No food is "bad" if you know how to control yourself and not eat the whole thing.
Moderation is KEY to a healthier life style! 

My New Addiction...

My new addiction is shopping for workout clothes and equipment!!!  lol

Whenever i can spare some extra money instead of wanting new clothes, jewelry, fast food, whatever else i used to want.. now i just want to go to big 5 or Dick's Sporting goods.. lol i may have a problem :P

I'm glad though in a way because it just proves that I'm in this for the long haul.. i want it all! weights, video's, mats, balls, and of course the workout clothes! to bad they are so expensive! lol My Fiance treated me to a trip to Dick's Sporting goods today and i got some much needed fitness stuff! Yay :)
My workout collection is growing!

Why this time?

You may be asking yourself as i have before... how is this time different? what makes you think you won't give up like all the other times? and how are you doing it?

Well.. this time is going to work because I'm READY to change. I read a great quote posted by one of my favorite facebook pages called FitFotLife  that said it perfectly

That is how i feel about this time. i feel like I'm finally ready. i know its going to be hard. i know I'm going to want to quit and i know I'm doing to have bad days, but this time i will do this.

A month of busting my ass

So 11 Days after deciding i was going to do it this time i decided to take a "before picture".  I had been eating right, counting my calories using myfitnesspal.com and exercising for 20 min everyday so i figured it was the next step.. (plus you can't have a rockin' after picture if you don't take a before picture)

For the next month i continued what i was doing and even decided to take on Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (I'm currently on day 17 now)
I didn't see any change in the mirror even though i was losing weight and my pants began to get baggy.
Either way it was a pretty successful month so i took another picture.. One month of eating right and exercising...

 i can't wait for another 30 days to take another picture. i plan on taking them monthly on the 6th. (that's the genius random day i took the first picture lol)

My Fitness Pal

I had made a myfitnesspal.com profile a few months ago after one of my nights where i told myself "i really will do it this time" ... yup i lie to myself. or i used to at least.
But after joining the facebook workout group i mentioned in my background story i found out a lot of the ladies were on the site so i decided to give it a real chance this time and even downloaded the app which makes things really easy since i always have my phone with me.

It helps me so much being able to easily log everything on the go and keep track of my calories.. also knowing how many calories to add after working out makes things a lot easier. I have to say another great thing is having friends on there who will scan your diary everyday.. knowing "big brother" is watching to make sure i don't fill up on crap helps keep me accountable.
You do have to log everything though.. and i mean everything. If you Bite it you Write it basically. Not logging everything is not lying to people looking at your diary its lying to yourself. The only person who that will hurt is you.

It really is simple and if your looking for a good way to take that first step then making a profile is a great start in my opinion. It changes your way of thinking to take a moment to check the back before opening and eating a whole bag of cookies(guilty in the past) Now that i've been doing it for over a month i really have a habit of looking at everything now. Once you see how bad the food your putting into your body is.. it's a lot harder to ignore what you put in your mouth!

I suppose i should start with my story.

Well hello there... I'm Kacey and i decided i wanted to share my journey with whoever was interested.

I guess i will start with a little background about me and my weight in the past..i was a skinny little girl until around 4th or 5th grade when i started to look bigger than the other kids.. it didn't really phase me after all I'm doing fine I'm just eating what my parents give me right? even if it was 2 servings to much. I ate a bunch of crap when i was "little" i use that word lightly because lets be honest i was not little. i was fat. Jr high i continued to grow bigger and bigger until i was in high school where it was obvious i was very overweight and very unhappy. Here are some examples of how i looked through high school(04-08)

I'm the one in the red. 

lol! had to throw this one in there

High School Graduation

17 or 18 

i started losing a little weight by not eating hardly anything and not working out of course because who in the hell likes to workout? Not me.. at the time anyway. Then when i hit a wall at 180 i got discouraged only to find out i was pregnant.. that may have been why i wasn't loosing anymore lol.
During my pregnancy i gained 85lbs... yes i said 85 lbs.  Being a fatty who loves food and being hungry all the time didn't work well for me especially being on bed rest from 20-36weeks.

Here is a shot of me at one of my baby showers.. yeah i know.. i just look huge.. because of my weight i never got that cute "baby bump" i got a lot of extra weight everywhere as well as my belly so i just ended up looking like a fat cow.

around 2 months before J came

After having my beautiful son i found out how amazing (and not so amazing sometimes) being a mother could be. No matter how happy i was to finally be able to hold my son i was utterly disgusted with myself and how big i was. Right before i gave birth i weighed in at a whopping 265. Around 6-7 months i got down to 240 just from all the extra water I'm guessing since i was not eating right or getting off my ass at all.

I discovered a new passion for photography after taking so many pictures of my son day in and day out.  I believe that was finally what made me change my attitude about loosing weight.. i was tired of having to crop myself out of any photos I'm in.. Or have to jump up and go look after being tagged in a picture in order to tell the poster to take it down if it showed to much of my fat.. i would crop every photo i could to hide just how big i really was.. 

August 2011 at my friends wedding.. i cringe just thinking of people seeing me in all the photos i was tagged in.

I spent the next few months feeling sorry for myself, getting angry at myself, putting myself down, complaining about my weight, my depression, pretty much anything i could think of to complain about.. but what was i doing to fix the problem? NOTHING. i was doing nothing. I continued to shove burgers in my mouth, eat 4 slices of pizza, ice cream? sure why not!?  Then i would cry about how unhappy and fat i was......see anything wrong with that picture?  i was not ready to change. But i am now. After joining a workout group on facebook full of other moms i have met throughout my pregnancy. I saw such motivation and drive to better themselves i decided.. why not me? why can't i lose weight? why can't i get to a place where i am happy with my body..the answer was I CAN. ..and i WILL. its been over a month since i started eating right and working out no gimmicks, no pills, no scams just hard work and dedication!  And you know what? i feel great!! I started July 26th weighing 232.  and now by Sept 13th i now weight 216. I'm still in the beginning of my journey but i never plan to stop. Settling for being fat and unhappy is no longer an option for me.  I WILL change. I WILL be proud of myself. and I WILL NOT give up! this is a promise to myself, a promise to my son and a promise to any reader who need some motivation.